The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. From family gatherings to festive events, the season is filled with opportunities for connection, reflection, and indulgence. However, for neurodivergent individuals—those with conditions such as autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorders, or other cognitive or neurological differences—the holidays can be a source of stress rather than joy. The sensory overload, social expectations, and rapid changes in routine can make it difficult for neurodivergent individuals to fully enjoy the season.

As we approach the holiday season, it’s important to create an inclusive and supportive environment for everyone, regardless of their neurological makeup. By approaching celebrations mindfully, we can ensure that the holidays are a time of comfort and happiness for all, including neurodivergent family members, friends, and colleagues.

Here are some strategies for supporting neurodivergent individuals during the holidays:

1. Recognize Sensory Sensitivities

The holiday season often brings bright lights, loud music, bustling crowds, and an overload of smells (think of that pine tree scent or spicy cinnamon!). These sensory experiences can be overwhelming for neurodivergent individuals who may be more sensitive to stimuli.

How to help:

• Create sensory-friendly spaces: If you’re hosting a holiday gathering, designate a quiet space where someone can retreat if they need a break from the noise or sensory overload. It could be a dimly lit room or a corner with calming music and soft textures.
• Adjust lighting and sound: Consider lowering the brightness of holiday lights or opting for soft, non-blinking lights. Keep background music at a moderate level, or provide noise-canceling headphones for those who might be sensitive to sound.
• Avoid strong scents: If you’re using candles, sprays, or other strong-smelling items, consider using unscented options or asking guests if they have preferences before lighting up.

2. Respect Routines and Schedules

For many neurodivergent individuals, routines provide stability and comfort. The holiday season’s erratic schedule—early dinners, last-minute gift shopping, and unexpected guests—can cause stress and anxiety.

How to help:

• Communicate plans in advance: Let neurodivergent individuals know in advance about holiday events, timings, and any changes to the usual schedule. This gives them the opportunity to mentally prepare for what’s coming.
• Keep routines intact where possible: While flexibility is often required during the holidays, try to maintain key elements of a neurodivergent person’s routine, such as regular meal times, quiet time, and bedtime.
• Allow for breaks: Overwhelming social interactions can be draining. Be mindful of their need to take breaks, whether it’s for a quick walk or a moment of solitude.

3. Be Inclusive in Social Settings

Holiday gatherings often come with a variety of social expectations—conversations, gift exchanges, and festive activities. For neurodivergent individuals, social interactions can be challenging, especially in unfamiliar settings.

How to help:

• Set clear social expectations: Let everyone know in advance what to expect in terms of group activities, games, or conversations. Some neurodivergent individuals may need a little extra guidance on social norms or cues.
• Be mindful of social pressures: Some neurodivergent individuals might feel uncomfortable with small talk, large groups, or the pressure to perform in social settings. Encourage inclusive activities that don’t focus on social performance, such as quiet board games, art projects, or simply spending time together.
• Provide social cues: For some, navigating social norms can be difficult. Gently guide conversations or give visual cues if necessary, but always do so in a way that’s respectful and considerate of the person’s needs.

4. Consider Gift-Giving with Sensitivity

Gift exchanges are a hallmark of many holiday traditions, but for neurodivergent individuals, the process can sometimes feel overwhelming. The pressure to give or receive the “perfect” gift, or the sensory overload of unwrapping presents, can add stress.

How to help:

• Give thoughtful, practical gifts: If you’re unsure what to give a neurodivergent person, consider their interests, needs, and sensory preferences. Items like weighted blankets, noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, or even experiences (like a quiet outing or movie night) can make great gifts.
• Respect preferences: Some individuals may not enjoy surprises or the act of unwrapping gifts in front of others. You might consider providing gifts in a way that reduces stress, such as letting them open gifts privately or in a smaller group.
• Avoid over-commercialization: Holidays can sometimes feel like an endless cycle of gift exchanges and consumerism. For neurodivergent individuals, who may struggle with social pressures, opt for more meaningful, low-key exchanges that focus on the thoughtfulness behind the gesture rather than the object itself.

5. Encourage Self-Care and Rest

The hustle and bustle of the holidays can leave everyone feeling drained, but for neurodivergent individuals, the constant stimulation and disruption to their familiar routines can lead to burnout. Encouraging moments of self-care and relaxation is essential.

How to help:

• Offer downtime options: Encourage the individual to take breaks as needed. Sometimes, a quiet space to read, listen to calming music, or simply sit in silence can be incredibly rejuvenating.
• Be understanding of sensory overload: If someone needs to leave an event early or take a moment to themselves, respect that decision without judgment. It’s about their well-being, not about adhering to a specific schedule or expectation.

6. Foster a Culture of Understanding

Perhaps the most important step in creating mindful celebrations is fostering an environment of understanding and inclusivity. Neurodivergent individuals should feel supported and accepted for who they are, without feeling that they need to “fit in” to the traditional idea of holiday cheer.

How to help:

• Educate others: Share information with family members or friends about how to support neurodivergent individuals during the holidays. Simple things like understanding that someone may need a break from social interactions or preferring a quieter celebration can make a big difference.
• Model empathy: Validate the experiences of neurodivergent individuals to demonstrate understanding and compassion. Encourage everyone to be patient and flexible with their needs.
• Celebrate diversity: The holidays are a time to celebrate differences and the unique qualities that make us who we are. Embrace the opportunity to create inclusive celebrations where all can feel seen, heard, and valued.

Final Thoughts

The holiday season doesn’t need to be one-size-fits-all. By creating mindful celebrations that take into account the needs of neurodivergent individuals, we ensure that everyone can experience the warmth, connection, and joy of the holidays in a way that works for them. With patience, compassion, and a little extra thoughtfulness, we can make this festive season a meaningful one for all, regardless of how they experience the world.

By embracing neurodiversity and promoting inclusivity, we can make the holidays a time for everyone to feel seen, respected, and cherished.

Services at Bridge to Balance

At Bridge to Balance, we employ therapists skilled in treating individuals with Neurodivergencies, including ADHD testing. We also offer training for clinicians. We have office locations throughout New Jersey in Voorhees, Piscataway, and Hamilton. We also have an office in Portland, Maine. Visit our webpage to learn more about our practice.