There’s a moment when the wave starts to swell—maybe it’s a conversation, a memory, a look, or just a feeling that rises fast and out of nowhere. Suddenly, you’re in it. The pull is strong, emotions crashing over you, and everything feels too loud, too much.

This is where the skill of riding the wave comes in.

Originally taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), “ride the wave” is more than just a metaphor—it’s a practice. A way of moving through overwhelming moments without getting pulled under. It’s about staying present and letting the emotion crest and fall without fighting it, judging it, or letting it steer you into actions you might regret.

It sounds simple. But it’s not always easy.

Let the Feeling Rise

The first step is noticing. Acknowledge what’s happening—without shame, without panic. You’re feeling something big, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you weak or broken. Emotions are part of being human, and like waves, they come and go. Let them rise. 

In DBT, this is part of distress tolerance—learning to sit with discomfort without needing to immediately fix it. You don’t have to suppress the feeling. You just have to stay afloat long enough to see it pass.

Don’t Try to Out-Swim It

It’s natural to want to escape discomfort—to distract, deny, or dive into old patterns just to make it stop. But when we try to run from strong emotions, they often come back harder. “Riding the wave” means staying with the feeling, breathing through it, and trusting that it will peak, then soften.

Think of it like surfing: you’re not trying to overpower the wave—you’re learning how to move with it.

Anchor Yourself

While you’re riding it out, it helps to have something that grounds you. This could be a deep breath, the feeling of your feet on the floor, a mantra, a safe person, or a simple phrase like “this will pass.” These little anchors remind you that while the wave is real, so is your ability to stay with it.

It’s not about fixing the feeling. It’s about allowing it.

Let It Crash, Then Let It Go

No wave lasts forever. Emotions, like tides, shift. What feels unbearable now will eventually fade, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. Your job isn’t to make it go away—it’s to stay present until it does.

And when it passes, give yourself credit. Not because the wave didn’t come, but because you didn’t let it drown you.

Why It Matters

This practice—this willingness to feel without acting impulsively or harshly—is a powerful kind of strength. It builds trust in yourself. It says: I can be with this. I can feel this. And I don’t have to be afraid of it.

So the next time a wave rises, remember: you have a skill for that. You’ve practiced. You know how to stay on your board, how to move with the water. You don’t need to have it all figured out—you just need to breathe, stay steady, and ride it through.

You’re not broken for feeling deeply. You’re just learning how to surf.

Download the Ride the Wave Guide

Ready to take this practice with you wherever life takes you?

Download your personal copy of the Ride the Wave Guide here and keep it close for whenever you need a reminder of your strength and resilience. Because every wave you face is an opportunity to rise stronger.

Need more help riding your wave?  Request an appointment with one of our counselors today.

About the Author,
Julie Ferdas LCSW

Julie is a New Jersey Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Rutgers University in 1997. Julie completed her Master of Social Work at the University of Pennsylvania in 1999. She has been providing therapeutic services to children, adolescents, individuals, couples, and families in various settings for over 20 years. In 2014, Julie joined Bridge to Balance, sharing in the vision and bringing energy to its continued growth.

Julie’s Approach to Helping

Julie strongly believes in connecting with her clients based on where they are in life’s journey, recognizing that there is a story behind every person. Julie works closely with her clients to find solutions that are realistic, while validating each individual’s unique experience. She believes that every struggle allows us to grow. Julie understands that clients are doing the best they can but want to do better.